William: Off the Top of My Head (SPOILERS)
(April 28, 2002)

Caution: spoiler for next week's ep (based on the trailer) is in
the "Etc." section.  Also, there is a comment toward the very
end that makes reference (albeit vague) to the finale.  Spoiler
space is provided.

Caution #2:  sorry, folks, there's some bad words ahead, just
like last week.  And these comments may seem a bit jumbled
because, quite frankly, it's not worth my time to make them more
coherent.  In fact, it's not worth your time to read this,
unless you want to get pissed off.  And I thought I was mad
after *last* week's ep.

You've been warned. *g*


WILLIAM (9ABX17):

In a nutshell:  Scully proves once and for all that every bit of
her intelligence left her body with the placenta by (a) letting
a mysterious, lying stranger get access to William, and (b)
believing enough of what said lying stranger tells her to give
William up for adoption.  I wish I were kidding, and I can't
believe that DD had anything to do with this stupidity.


What I liked:
-  ::snort::  Scully sang "Joy to the World" again!  Woo hoo!
-  And she smiled at William!  Wheeee!
-  Oh, and William's got rabbit ears on.  How cute. :-D
-  AND Scully remembered to put him in his car seat facing
backwards!  (Although he's kinda big.  How old is he supposed to
be, anyway?)
-  Doggett: 1,493 to 20 sit-ups?  Hee hee.  And what was that
about them not paying him enough?
-  Chris Owens deserves a special award for putting up with all
that makeup.  Kudos to the makeup folks, by the way.
-  "Miller"'s flashback scenes to when he was injected were well
done.
-  "You're not going to tell me I need braces, are you?"  That
was a Mulder line.  Nice choice of dialogue.
-  Pencils in the ceiling.  Nice touch, but surely they wouldn't
be there from Mulder after all these years.
-  Fish tank!  Fish tank!  Woo hoo!
-  Nice dissolve from Jeffrey looking at himself in the mirror
to him just before he go shot by CSM.



What I didn't like:
-  Important plot points that were glossed over:  how did
Doggett figure out that "Daniel Miller"'s name wasn't really
Daniel Miller?  Just because he checked the phone book or
something?  And how the hell did Scully figure out that "Miller"
was Jeffrey Spender?  That came out of nowhere.
-  Did anyone else get a sense of UST between Scully and
"Miller" during the exam scene?  It sure was shot that way. 
Ewwwwwww.
-  Mulder in her eyes?  "We're both looking for answers"?  WTF?
-  Oh, and William is part alien!  What a shock! ::snort::  And
just why is he supposed to be part alien?  He surely can't have
anything weird about his DNA because, of course, Scully would
have had him thoroughly tested for that AGES ago.  ::snerk:: 
And of course, somehow whatever "Miller" did to him just
magically undid that funky alien shit.  Umm, OK.
-  People in this ep did stupid, stupid things.  How shall I
count the ways?
-  Why were Scully, Doggett, and Reyes having that discussion at
Quantico right outside the room where "Miller" was?  He could
probably hear at least some of it, or at least read lips.
-  Hello, why were they letting this guy look through the
X-Files when they know that he's a liar?
-  Someone explain this to me.  Scully knows that this guy
couldn't possibly have actually talked to Mulder, since Mulder
would have known that the files were at Scully's apartment.  So
not only isn't he Mulder, but he's lying about everything... so
why the hell did she let him know that the files were in her
apartment??!  Why let her get anywhere near William?
-  Oh, Scully.  You're not really gonna let this liar hold
William, are you?
-  AIEEEEEEE!  She did it!  Is she a fucking MORON?
-  Don't answer that.
-  Why would "Miller" try to fool Scully to get to her apartment
and to William?  He could have just gone there in the middle of
the night, or while Mrs. Scully was babysitting.  And if he went
to the basement office with the intent of tricking them into
bringing him to Scully's apartment, then that means that he knew
that the X-Files he claimed to be looking for were in Scully's
apartment.  How did he know that?
-  Why are Scully, Doggett, and Reyes leaving "Miller" in the
apartment unsupervised (when they were talking in Scully's
bedroom with the door closed)?  "Miller" could hear what they
were saying easily enough, plus that gave him access to William! 
Even if they didn't suspect he was trying to get to William, why
on earth trust him enough to leave him alone?
-  So Scully accepts what Doggett tells her about the DNA
results without argument?  Doesn't even suggest that the test
was rigged?  Um, OK.
-  And where did "Miller" go, Doggett asked?  Gee, what a good
question.  I mean, you might think that since the guy is lying
up and down somebody might have thought to keep an eye on him. 
::rolls eyes::
-  Doesn't Scully think it's odd that if that's really Mulder
he's keeping it a secret from her?
-  "If that was Mulder, I wouldn't care."  No kidding.  And
Mulder would know that she wouldn't care.  And Mulder was not
exactly a vain man.
-  Scully's still wearing those blouses that are too tight. 
::sigh::
-  DON'T MESS WITH THE BABY, DAMMIT!  1013/DD, you should be
ashamed of yourselves.  And don't try to feed me some crap about
how William is better off now, because he's "cured" and "safe." 
That's a load of bullshit and you know it.
-  Umm.. how did Scully know that William was injected?  (Oh,
OK, she's a doctor so I'll go with the idea that she'd recognize
a puncture wound.)  And why didn't they take 30 seconds to
search "Miller" and that room BEFORE she and Reyes went to the
ER with William?  It would have helped for the doctors to figure
out what William had been injected with, and since he didn't
seem to be in any immediate distress (seizures, that sort off
thing, I mean) it would have been in his best interests to take
those few seconds to know what he'd been given, right?
-  But even then, although it only seemed to take Doggett 30
seconds to find the stuff in the bed, there was no indication
that he tried to contact Scully or Reyes so it could be
analyzed.  I mean, it certainly seemed as thought Scully and
Reyes sat in that waiting room for a long time.  So why no
contact from Doggett?
-  Why is everyone in this ep acting like an idiot?
-  Did Duchovny actually come up with this ridiculous story?  Or
can we blame CC and FS was the really stupid stuff?
-  Why would Scully believe that William is now OK just because
Jeffrey said so?  Oh, yeah, because she's a fucking moron. 
Never mind.
-  Oh, please.  Does Scully really think that William will be
safe because he's in "hiding"?  She doesn't think the bad guys
will follow the adoption paper trail to figure out where he is?  
That's ridiculous.  It's stupid in the extreme.
-  Should I really believe that Scully would give up her -- AND
MULDER'S -- son without even trying to contact Mulder?
-  Are we really supposed to assume that William is truly
"cured" now because he couldn't move the white buffalo mobile? 
Puh-leeze.  We haven't seen him move his mobile in ages.
-  So where is Spender now?  Will we ever hear another word
about him?  (Don't answer that.)  Where did he get the stuff
that he used on William?  Why hasn't anyone wondered what
happened to him and where he's been for the past 2+ years?  Why
has it never before been mentioned on the show that his body was
never found?  Why is he no longer with the people who did those
experiments on him?  Did he escape?  Did they just let him go
when the experiment failed?  Did Scully think to ask him about
his childhood with Samantha?  (OK, that's *really* a stretch
since it would not have been near the front of her mind.  But
really, someone should be asking a lot a lot a lot of questions,
and I have no confidence that it's being done offscreen.)
-  Why, why why?


What's got me puzzled:
-  The white buffalo mobile that the father carved -- I realize
that's a throwback to the Anasazi trilogy, but will anything
actually come of the use of that?  Or were we just being thrown
a bone?
-  Hey... in the scene where Doggett gets attacked, he came back
to the basement office wearing his jacket, but he left without
it!
-  Wait a minute... Doggett got up after that beating, with
hardly a mark on his face?
-  And why does Doggett think that "Miller" is Mulder?  That
seems like a pretty far-out idea, especially for Doggett. 
(Answer: because someone had to suggest it; the plot required
it.  Yeah, I know.)
-  Does Scully just keep sleeping pills around for anyone who
needs them?
-  Since Doggett found that stuff that "Miller" used on William,
will Scully do more tests on it to figure out how/why it
affected William?  It seemed like there was plenty left over to
test.  Surely she could not have done a massive amount of
analysis before she met with "Miller".
-  And why did Miller just stand there and wait for Doggett to
find the needle? Why didn't he run?  Why did Doggett EXPECT him
to run, and therefore cuff him?


Etc.:
-  Thank God that Skinner noticed that "Miller" doesn't fit
Mulder's body size.  I'm glad SOMEBODY did.
-  Mrs. Van De Kamp was wearing a cross.  Just wanted to point
that out.
-  And William was wearing a spaceship sleeper!  Oh, yeah, what
a coincidence. ::sigh::
-  Now that Scully has given William up for adoption, raise your
hand if you think that we won't see or hear a whisper about him
again for the rest of the season.
-  That's what I thought.
-  Next week's ep: Who killed Doggett's son?  (Umm, didn't we
already address that last year?  In "Empedocles"?)  You know,
I'm sorry his son was killed, but how could this possibly be
important to the wrapping up of 9 years of this show?
-  Very vague finale comment:

S
P
O
I
L
E
R
 
S
P
A
C
E

-  I was hopeful about the finale, regardless of the spoilers
I've read, because of DD having final script approval.  But now
that I've seen this ep... I don't know what to think.  I know
that I am now very, very concerned about what "The Truth" will
bring us.  I can't say that I'm optimistic, and that makes me
sad.

***