Title: ASLEEP AT THE SWITCH (1/2) Author: Jean Robinson (jeanrobinson@yahoo.com) Disclaimer: Characters from the X-Files are the property of Ten Thirteen Productions and the Fox Television Network. All others are the property of the author. No infringement is intended. Rating: PG Classification: S, A Archive: Please ask permission. Spoilers: Though "Ice." Summary: Who's been sleeping in my bed? Feedback: Ho, ho, ho me at jeanrobinson@yahoo.com Author's notes at the end ***************************** ASLEEP AT THE SWITCH (1/2) By Jean Robinson The first time he found her asleep in his office, he was merely amused. The second time, he woke her by poking her in the shoulder with a slide carousel and teased her about nodding off before he'd even begun to bore her with his latest Bigfoot sightings. The third time he opened the X-Files door to the sight of his partner slumped over the back table, head pillowed on her folded arms and eyeglasses clasped loosely in one lax fist, Fox Mulder backed out quietly and stood in the dim basement hallway, considering. Three times in four days. Scully might have been catching forty winks on the job yesterday, too, but since she'd spent the entire day upstairs at her own desk, he couldn't be sure. He'd read quite a bit on the life and times of Dana Katherine Scully, MD before she'd even knocked on his door to announce she had been "assigned" to work with him, but neither narcolepsy nor insomnia had been mentioned in any of the reports, official or unofficial, that he'd amassed on her. Sleep disorders were his personal specialty, not hers. Every late night call he'd directed at her apartment had had her answering in rough, gravel tones that indicated she'd been zonked or close to it before he'd interrupted to impart all manner of dark secrets that couldn't be uttered in daylight with the same effect. She'd spent quite a bit of time down here with him since her assignment, enduring mini lectures, impromptu audio/visual displays, and cryptic phone calls with a good deal of eye-rolling but a surprising amount of patience. Every time he thought he had Dana Scully figured out she'd pull a new trick out of her repertoire, but so far they'd all worked to his advantage. She'd gone along with his weird ideas and unorthodox investigative methods, at the risk of tainting her own career with his redolent reputation. The sleeping thing, however, was a new quirk. An alarming new quirk, to tell the truth. Maybe she was sick. Except Scully didn't look sick, and when she wasn't snoring softly against the cheap metal table hidden at the back of the office, she certainly didn't act sick. Hell, they'd just come back from the Icy Cape and she hadn't so much as sniffled once on the plane. Not that he was any kind of doctor, of course, but you'd think that after going to the North Pole it was a distinct possibility that you'd return with a head cold. . . . Wait a minute. Mulder frowned, thankful once again that the FBI's most unwanted had been relegated to such an undesirable location; it meant that no one would be wandering by to see him standing outside his own office, rubbing his chin and grimacing like an idiot. Leaps of logic were his specialty, and he'd just realized that Scully's nocturnal habits had gotten screwy since their return from the Polar Ice Cap Trip From Hell. Of course, a little more investigative digging wouldn't hurt, so he spent the next two hours roaming the building, seeking out various individuals and engaging in the sort of water cooler gossip he normally avoided at all costs. It wasn't difficult to get people talking about Scully, but it was tough to accomplish it casually, precisely because everyone knew Mulder tended to be more loquacious when the subject was aliens or conspiracies than when it centered on his partner. Sure, there were a dozen or more male agents drooling over her and more than a few female ones ready and willing to make a catty remark about Scully's true hair color, but that wasn't the kind of information he needed. And, "Oh, by the way, have you caught Agent Scully napping on her desk lately?" wasn't exactly something a guy could come right out and ask. But he managed to make enough oblique inquiries to determine that his partner, when not dead to the world in the basement, was her typical industrious self. Trips to the labs, to Quantico, various meetings and lunches all spoke of someone alert to her surroundings. And if he left a wake of curious co-workers giving him puzzled looks as he extricated himself from one conversation and moved on to the next, at least Mulder was convinced Scully was not suffering from a physical ailment. That left a mental ailment, something else that hadn't popped up in all his advance notes on the little spy sent to document his life. While the spying part turned out to be a false alarm -- a credit to Scully's integrity, not to the intelligence of those who had selected her for the job -- she had indeed cramped his style. In a nice way, that is. Unaccustomed as he was to coloring within the lines, it was kind of fun to have a partner who, while she preferred to connect the dots with surgical precision, wasn't adverse to a little wild finger-painting now and then. Or at least didn't object to cleaning up after his artistic sprees, i.e. explaining his absences, insubordination and otherwise unacceptable conduct with fearless determination and unswerving loyalty. But something had changed after their little run-in with the arctic ammonia worms. Something that made Scully's bed less inviting than the metal folding chair in his office. Mulder had been to her apartment three times; twice for airport runs, and once to kick her door down while a suspected murderer attempted to dine on Scully pate. His glimpses of her sleeping space had been brief -- during his struggle with Eugene Victor Tooms he'd been too busy getting knocked on his ass in the bathroom to appreciate her bed linens -- but even if Scully didn't snooze on pure Egyptian cotton, wouldn't a mattress be more comfy than her seat in the X-Files office? Apparently not, if the last few days were anything to go by. Mulder eased his office door open once again; this time his partner was conscious. Conscious and irritated, to be precise. "Where the hell have you been?" she demanded, setting down the file she'd been reading when he arrived. "I need you to sign off on this before three o'clock, and I have to assist at an autopsy in ten minutes." Mulder glanced at his watch; he'd spent longer than he'd intended in covert operations concerning her health. Time for the glib approach. "Sorry. Just out taking in the sights and the sounds of the J. Edgar Hoover Building." She gave him a disgruntled look as she handed him a form and a pen. "You haven't been out getting into trouble again, have you?" "Trouble? Who, me?" He scrawled his name without looking at what he was signing, his gaze intent on the closed file she'd left on the table. "I never go looking for trouble, Scully. You know that." She sighed. "It seems to find you anyway. Please tell me I'm not going to be called into Skinner's office first thing Monday morning to defend you." Monday. He'd forgotten it was Friday. A whole Scully-less weekend stretched before him. "Nope. Well, unless putting fingerprint powder in Tom Colton's coffee is grounds for a complaint. . . . " "Mulder! Tell me you didn't." "All right." He smiled at her, but she didn't return it. "I didn't. I haven't even seen the guy since the hearing. Really." She didn't look terribly convinced, but took the signed paper he offered to her and began collecting her belongings without further argument, clearly preparing for departure. Mulder dropped down into his swivel chair and eyed her surreptitiously as she neatened her space, tidying piles of paper and returning files to their proper cabinets. She'd been awake long enough to comb back her hair and smooth the herringbone dents from her cheeks. He bet anything that half of her eagerness to beat a hasty retreat was to escape before he could say something to indicate he'd seen her dozing on duty again. She'd covered it well the first two times, but he knew better. His partner had been mortified. "Doing anything this weekend, Scully?" he inquired as she draped her trench coat over one arm. "Errands." A terse response meant to cover endless possibilities, none of which she wanted to share with him. It was also Scully-speak for "don't call me 90 times to talk about why Reticulans are gray, because unless they're invading, it can wait until Monday." What the hell. "Scully, are you all right?" The direct approach had never worked before, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. She froze in the doorway, glancing back at him with an expression that on anyone else he would have deemed as panic. Then it was gone, and he was left with Scully's more familiar countenance: a mix of weary tolerance, mild annoyance, and something secretive. "I'm fine, Mulder. I'll see you Monday. Have a good weekend." "You, too." She nodded in acknowledgment and left, her heels clicking a brisk, even cadence to the end of the hallway. Mulder waited until he heard the elevator ding, then the double swish of the doors opening and closing before bolting out of his chair to lunge at the cabinets and locate the file she'd been perusing when he came in. Second drawer down, let your fingers do the walking, isn't it wonderful to have a photographic memory for those times you need to memorize your partner's movements and replicate them. . . ah, yes, here it is. Mulder yanked the file out and flipped it open without reading the cover. He had a pretty good idea of which one it would be before he'd gotten up, and he was right. The Arctic Ice Core Project Rescue Team. Scully had been reliving the joys of their time sequestered with a pile of dead bodies, a few hostile scientists, some creepy crawlies of undetermined origins, and a dog with a taste for human flesh. Not exactly Santa Claus Village, but personally he'd thought skulking through Tooms' bile-coated hidey-hole had been worse. So she had issues with the case. On the long plane ride home she'd been quiet, unnaturally so, failing to acknowledge any of his verbal gambits with more than a single syllable response. At the time he'd chalked up her silence to a combination of exhaustion and stress; none of them had gotten any sleep and to say the situation at Icy Cape had been tense was like saying Babe Ruth hit a few home runs. He'd also thought she was still shocked at Dr. Hodge's news that the government had come in and bombed the entire site. Despite everything she'd experienced in her brief time on the X-Files, Scully continued to struggle with the idea that the comforting system of order and authority she'd been taught to respect since childhood could be the real enemy. Yes, she'd argued for the worms' destruction. Mulder was fairly sure she'd been referring to the worms alone, though, not the wholesale eradication of the entire facility and all the evidence within. But apparently Scully had more on her mind than just the loss of a few microscope slides. She pointed her weapon at you, Mulder old boy. She would have fired if you hadn't backed down. You saw that in her eyes. You =knew= she'd do it. And that, he reasoned, after all Scully's past assertions to him that she wasn't a spy, that he had to trust her, that she just wanted to solve the case, that had to have given her serious pause. By-the-book, law-and-order, procedures-and-protocols Dana Scully being reduced to turning on her own partner. Maybe she was having nightmares that she =had= shot him. It would explain her sudden need to sleep in the X-Files office. The room was probably the only place she could convince herself that she really hadn't; that he was alive and healthy and still walking around making outlandish claims about Air Force test pilots flying planes built with alien technology and carnivorous beast women from New Jersey. Of course, he'd been royally pissed at her when she had sided with Hodge and DaSilva instead of him. That she'd allowed her fear to override her normal common sense in the span of a few seconds had him seeing red. Only the knowledge that he was outnumbered caused him to back down; taking out Scully would have given the other two scientists the opportunity to jump him. He knew he'd eventually be able to get his partner to see reason, if she didn't get infected first. The other two would have locked him up to die with nary a qualm. His confinement in the storage room had given him time to see things from Scully's perspective, but the anger at her betrayal hadn't completely dissipated when she'd returned bearing the "cure" for his alleged illness. Her sheepish, eyes-down smile to acknowledge her error wasn't enough to soothe his wounded pride, so he'd grabbed her and given her a dose of her own medicine. Mulder had fully intended to scare her when he yanked down her shirt, wrapped one hand around her neck and squeezed. She'd held her ground, but he'd felt her pulse triphammering under his fingertips. Mission accomplished. Okay, so perhaps demonstrating his power to choke the daylights out of Scully hadn't been the brightest idea he'd ever had, but he'd been furious, and anyway, it was over and done with. There were no "do-overs" in the X-Files division, no way for him to go back and say, "Yeah, I wanted to wring your neck -- literally -- but I was also concerned that you might have been the infected one after all, because why else would you have aimed at me so quickly?" But maybe his partner needed to hear that. Maybe a justification of his actions would give her grounds to justify her own, and she could stop using his office as a surrogate bedroom. Mulder sat back down and considered his options. One, wait until Monday and confront her. Pros: He'd have the weekend to prepare his speech, and he'd have the home field advantage. Cons: It also gave Scully the weekend to rest up, rationalize her behavior, and simply vacate the office if the conversation took an uncomfortable turn. Sitting her down and talking with her was one thing. Mulder wasn't about to resort to the level of locking the door so she couldn't escape. Two, call her and attempt to have this discussion over the phone. Pros: Scully tended to be more open without the face-to-face interaction. Being partnered with a profiler had to make her wonder if Mulder was constantly reading meanings into her body language, and that =definitely= made her twitchy. Scully's poker face had improved tenfold in the short time they'd been working together, no question. Cons: She'd hang up in a heartbeat the minute she heard what he wanted to talk about. Three, invite her out for dinner or lunch over the weekend. Pros: Neutral ground for everyone. Cons: She'd already said she didn't want to be bothered by him, and since he'd never invited her out without the offer being connected to a case, she'd arrive suspicious and on her guard. If she even accepted. Four, invite her to his apartment. Forget it. If being asked out to a restaurant would make her leery, a summons to his home would set her internal alarms blaring, "Red Alert!" Five, invite himself over to her apartment. On the face of it, the last option looked to be the worst of all. As he'd never asked Scully over to socialize, she'd never asked him, either. The only time he'd truly been "in" her home, he'd shared the experience with a killer and a cavalry charge of police officers, paramedics and FBI agents who arrived too late to do anything but gawk at the sight of Tooms handcuffed to Scully's plumbing. So he wasn't in the habit of dropping by his partner's apartment, announced or otherwise. Not without a damn good reason, such as the sudden belief that Scully had been transformed from hunter to prey without her knowledge or permission. Impromptu improvisation had worked for him in the past, though, and with a little creative thinking, he bet he could talk himself past Scully's threshold. Tonight. End part 1 ____________ Mulder decided on nine p.m. as the witching hour. Late enough for Scully to be finished with dinner, but too early for her to turn in for the night. Assuming she was alone, of course. She hadn't mentioned seeing anyone since her date with Mr. Just A Guy during the Atlantic City case, but then again, he hadn't asked. She'd never really discussed her personal life with him, and he liked it that way. He already had as much background information on her as he needed; as long as her life outside the office didn't interfere with their investigations, he didn't really care. She could claim that she wanted a life, but Mulder suspected that a quiet evening at home without interruption by man, machine, or mutant was what Scully truly craved. Change into something comfy, do a little research on her laptop, maybe watch some mindless TV show or make use of that giant bathtub, and fall asleep dreaming of sheep instead of shadows. A profiler knows these things. So he was pretty sure he wouldn't be disturbing anything more than Scully's peace of mind by knocking on her door on a Friday night sans invitation. "Who is it?" Cautious. She definitely sounded cautious. Scully had learned the hard way to beware of unexpected guests. "It's me, Mulder." There was a pause, and he pictured her standing on tiptoe to see out her peephole, verifying the presence of her partner and not an unwelcome visitor of the paranormal variety. A rattle, a click and she opened the door a fraction, a small frown of anxiety creasing her brow. "Mulder, what is it? What's wrong?" He was careful not to smile; being overly friendly would arouse her suspicions. "Can I come in?" She opened the door wider to admit him, continuing to throw questions as he stepped past her into her living area. "What's the matter? Are you hurt? Is there something new with one of our cases?" He'd successfully flustered her by coming over, but any minute her confusion would morph into alarm. "Scully, sit down." It felt odd giving her orders in her own home, but in her bewilderment she didn't seem to notice that he'd usurped her role as hostess. He seated himself on one of her armchairs and waited until she sank down slowly onto the couch. "Mulder, what is it?" she asked again. He'd been right about one thing; Scully had been prepared for a lazy evening alone. A single mug of tea sat on the coffee table, surrounded by a pile of periodicals and a yellow legal pad. The top page was half covered with his partner's bold handwriting. She sat stiffly, wrapped in a plush white bathrobe that almost swallowed her whole. It looked new, and was a definite improvement over that tatty red thing she'd brought on their first assignment together. She was still wearing her reading glasses; they gave her face a serious, owlish appearance. All right, make that a serious cute owl. Mulder had long ago decided against informing Scully how utterly adorable her wire rims made her look, as if she should be studying for a college final instead of reading up on the latest techniques in dissecting the dead. Not telling her didn't stop him from noticing, unfortunately, and he fought the urge to smile as she chewed on her lower lip and plotted her next move to unearth the purpose of his visit. "Do you want something to drink?" Years of etiquette training kicked in; Mrs. Scully must have done one heck of a job if her daughter still remembered her manners when faced with a guest whose presence was a continued mystery. "No, I'm fine. I just. . . " Now that he was here, he didn't want to leap right into this. Maybe he could sidle in the back door. "You were looking over our report about Icy Cape. Was there something you wanted to change about it?" "You came all the way over here to ask me that?" Scully's gaze, which had reflected mild worry and perplexity, turned guarded. "I just wanted to review it, Mulder." Apparently she'd decided that until she knew where he was headed with this line of questioning, the less she revealed, the better. "Scully, nobody even read it. Once the facility was destroyed and the evidence gone, our whole trip became moot. Nobody. . ." he paused and chose his next words very carefully, "Nobody questioned your actions." She narrowed her eyes, smoothing the overlapping edge of the robe across her knees. "What are you talking about?" "'During the course of the investigation of the murder of Dr. Denny Murphy, Agents Mulder and Scully engaged in a verbal altercation during which both agents drew their weapons,'" Mulder quoted. "'Agent Mulder first aimed at Dr. Lawrence Hodge, and, in an attempt to protect Dr. Hodge, Agent Scully aimed her weapon at Agent Mulder. He subsequently re-trained his weapon on her. The standoff was resolved when Agent Mulder surrendered and submitted to being confined for the duration of the investigation.'" He leaned forward and stared earnestly at her, trying to read what was going on behind those wide blue eyes. Profiling where actions seemed likely was one thing, but more often than not Scully's thoughts remained hidden to him. "Scully, I would have done the same thing in your position. For all you knew I =was= infected. And we might never have figured out how to kill those things if DaSilva hadn't been left out there to screw up Hodge's experiment." She sat silent, expressionless, as if mesmerized by his words. The fingers that had been worrying the terrycloth on her lap now lay flat and still on her thighs. The silence drew out longer and longer until Mulder, sensing disaster but not knowing what form it might take, plunged on in a desperate attempt to head it off. "I'm not angry with you for doing that. I'm not disappointed, or upset, or planning to report you. I just want you to know that you were within your rights, and you acted properly. In case. . . in case that's what's been keeping you up at night." That made her jump a little, and that tiny line between her eyebrows reappeared. "Keeping me up at night?" she repeated. In for a penny, in for a pound. Here goes nothing. "You've fallen asleep in the office three times in the last week. Three times that I know about. I know you don't find the decor as stimulating as I do, but it's not like you to just nod off like that. You don't seem to be sick, so I thought. . . I thought you might be worried. About what happened up there. And what almost happened." It was as close as he dared come to saying, "About the fact that you nearly gunned me down before I could defend myself," but Scully got the drift. "You think I've been worried that I could have shot you? That I was prepared to do it if you forced me to?" She sounded far too calm for his assumptions to be true. If he'd hit home she'd be edgy and defensive by now, and she wasn't. She seemed almost nonchalant. So he'd miscalculated. But not by much. Surely the change in nap habits was connected to the events at Icy Cape. There just wasn't anything else for her to be distraught about, barring some unknown family emergency. Mulder nodded in response to her questions. "I assumed that, yes, because you don't normally use my office as a bedroom." Scully flushed. At least he'd been right about her being embarrassed to have been caught slumbering. Abruptly she stood up and walked away, towards her kitchen. Mulder hesitated. When she didn't return, he got up and followed her. His partner was standing facing her sink, arms braced against its edge and head bowed. "Scully?" he ventured quietly. Much as he wanted to know what was wrong, prying it out of her by force wasn't on his agenda. If she told him, great. If she couldn't, or wouldn't, then he'd live to fight another day. She raised her head but didn't turn around. Apparently her internal struggle was at an end, and she was about to deliver the results of the war. "I have been. . . concerned. . . that I hadn't acted in your best interests. That I had allowed myself to be swayed by the simplest interpretation of the available evidence and the presence of the others. The pack mentality, as it were." Mulder waited. Scully took a deep breath and made a visible effort to relax her hunched shoulders. "But," she continued, "that's not why I've been. . . unable to rest at a more appropriate time and place." Typical Scully to be so diplomatic when admitting to a fault. She turned around finally to stare him in the eyes. "Mulder, I wasn't troubled because I had to threaten you with my weapon," she said softly. "I was troubled because =you= threatened me with =yours.=" He stepped back in shock, as if the words themselves had the physical power to knock him off balance. "What? Scully. . . what?" She continued to make eye contact, the expression on her face both sad and determined. "Mulder, when I first met you, when we were in Oregon, you said I =had= to trust you. You demanded it, and I agreed. When you lied to those agents in the Lauren Kyte case, I didn't say anything. When Petersen, that building manager for Eurisko, told me to back off, I took your side and made him give you the disk to destroy the operating system. I bailed you out of the drunk tank after you made a nuisance of yourself in New Jersey. I intervened when Tom Colton tried to keep you off the Tooms case. When you got caught at Ellens Air Base, I forced them to let you go. I did all that because you told me I had to trust you, and I did." She blinked and steadied her voice, which had started to shake slightly at the end of her recitation. She wasn't crying, though; not even close. Just unnerved at the way her pleasant Friday evening had come unraveled without warning. "But at Icy Cape, it was clear to me that while you demanded absolute trust from me, you weren't willing to give it in return. After all I'd done for you, proven to you, did you really think I would have let them hurt you? Do you know what happened while you were in that room? They were all for abandoning you. I wouldn't let them. Me, Mulder. Your partner. I insisted on speaking with you, explaining things, before we did anything drastic like administering the worm to you. Hodge and DaSilva wanted me to help them restrain you so they could do it without even telling you what was happening. I refused. Because =I= still trusted =you=, Mulder." He couldn't believe what he was hearing, couldn't process it. Before he could even try, Scully had forged ahead to the conclusion of her tirade. "Yes, it disturbed me to point my gun at you, knowing I might have to fire it to protect the others from you. But it disturbed me more to see you aiming back at me, because when you told me in Oregon that nothing mattered but finding your sister, all I could think was how far you were really prepared to go. If. . . if getting rid of me was something you'd already considered and decided was an acceptable means to an end." He remembered delivering his passionate speech during a Pacific northwest thunderstorm, remembered grabbing Scully's arm to punctuate the depth of his commitment to locating Samantha. He thought he remembered the flicker in her eyes, what he'd interpreted then as mere sympathy and what now, looking back, he belatedly recognized as fear. She'd probably gone home wondering just what kind of nutcase she was working with, but in the months that followed, he hadn't done anything overtly threatening. Scully had relaxed, dismissed her initial alarm as an overreaction. Until she found herself staring down the receiving end of Mulder's service weapon in the Arctic. All this time he'd thought Scully was perturbed by what =she'd= done. It had never occurred to him to wonder how his behavior, fueled by his past conduct, had affected her. So much for being a profiler and knowing things. She was watching him carefully now, waiting for his response. "I wouldn't have shot you," he said, his voice cracking a bit. "Not for that. You have to believe me. I was angry at you, but I would never have hurt you. I was afraid you would get hurt yourself, staying out there with them with no one to back you up." Scully tilted her head a little, as if weighing his words. Mulder could almost see the wheels turning inside her mind, could visualize her taking his statement and balancing it against her memory of his gun, and the later events in the storage room, with his hand pressing ominously against her neck. He knew that instant of sweet revenge would come back to haunt him. He was about to apologize for that, too, and then realized doing so would make matters worse. Scully pushed away from the sink and strode past him back to the living room. Confused, he followed, and they resumed their original positions on the couch and armchair. She adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat. She looked suddenly tired, and he remembered what had started all this -- her lack of sleep. "I can understand how both of our actions can be construed as less than professional, Mulder. I wish I'd responded differently to the situation. I. . . I can see that you do, too." He nodded, afraid to interrupt what he thought was her acceptance of his apology. Scully glanced at her watch. "It's late, Mulder." He blinked, surprised. "Don't you want me to cross my heart and swear never to do it again?" he asked, trying out a small smile to see how an attempt at humor might fare. Scully reached for her mug, more, it seemed, to have something to do with her hands than out of any desire to drink the tepid liquid. "Could you honestly do that? And mean it?" He thought about it and finally shook his head. "No. Probably not." She smiled then, just a little. "Neither could I. Go home, Mulder. I'll see you on Monday." "Awake?" He was pushing it, but he couldn't resist teasing her, now that the earlier tension was gone. Scully set down her mug and picked up her notepad and pen. "Unless you've got more slides of Bigfoot." End Author's notes: Happy holidays to tuatha, my E-muse Secret Santa. I realize this isn't a Christmas story, but it's been rolling around in my head for a while. Hope everyone enjoys some early Moose and Squirrel along with all that leftover eggnog and fruitcake. Many thanks also to my betas-to-the-rescue, BoneTree and Sarah Segretti. Next time I'll warn you in advance about the long sentences. Feedback would go wonderfully with my last few Christmas cookies: jeanrobinson@yahoo.com.