Title: SAFEKEEPING Author: Jean Robinson (jeanrobinson@yahoo.com) Disclaimer: Characters from the X-Files are the property of Ten Thirteen Productions and the Fox Television Network. All others are the property of the author. No infringement is intended. Rating: PG Classification: S Archive: Please ask permission. Spoilers: Up through "Requiem" Summary: Everyone needs a little protection, especially when they think they don't. Feedback: Adored at jeanrobinson@yahoo.com Author's notes at the end ***************************** SAFEKEEPING (1/3) By Jean Robinson Seven years with Mulder had inured Scully to a normal person's alarm about waking up in unfamiliar surroundings. Budget-rate motels rooms, lumpy couches. An alien spaceship. A cot in a tent pitched on the beach of Africa's Ivory Coast. Ambulance gurneys. Emergency room treatment tables. Hospital beds. Dozens and dozens of hospital beds. All of these occurrences were, in their own way, upsetting. Even the innocuous motel beds with their overstarched sheets and flattened foam pillows could cause distress, although it was usually of a banal nature, such as a vicious allergy attack from dust mites lurking in the unlaundered blankets. Scully thought the morning she awoke in the Cancerman's cabin hideout, snugly tucked into both bed and pajamas by his hand without any memory of his involvement or her consent, was the most frightening return to consciousness she'd ever experienced. She was wrong. Panic surfaced and reached for her before she identified the hard, knobby objects digging into her spine and the backs of her legs as seatbelts. Another long, terror-filled minute passed before the second set of sensory information processed through synapses deadened by illness and fatigue. It finally dawned on her that the unusual pillow cushioning her head and shoulders was Melvin Frohike's thigh, and therefore by extension the hands stroking her hair and gripping her arm must also belong to the shortest of the Lone Gunmen. "Agent Scully? Can you hear me?" She blinked; until she heard the sound of his voice she hadn't realized her eyes were open. Frohike's face loomed over her, displaying something new in place of his usual expressions of benign lechery or temperamental paranoia. Fear. He was scared out of his wits, his eyes nearly wild with alarm. "Scully?" he repeated, desperation now edging his tone. "Is she awake?" A second voice joined in the one-sided conversation. Scully rolled her head slightly to her left and made eye contact with Byers, who was twisted around in his seat in defiance of the strangulation hazard posed by his seatbelt. "I don't know. I think she's still out of it." The pieces started to fall into place, a jigsaw puzzle of both monumental complexity and deceptive simplicity. The gentle rocking sway of the surface she reclined upon confirmed it. Van. The ancient Volkswagen bus registered to Langly via three or four dummy corporations and fake identities. She was lying on the back seat of the van with her head in Frohike's lap. He'd hinted at this very daydream on several occasions, but for all his innuendo-laden teasing Scully thought Frohike never intended for her to fall into his arms for real. But that's exactly what she had done. She remembered that now, the dreadful revelation that Mulder was the one in imminent danger of abduction, not herself, and the overwhelming dizziness that followed that discovery. She had a vague memory of weightlessness, hearing faint voices calling her name, then nothing but peaceful darkness. Until now. Langly – if Byers was in the front passenger seat and Frohike was cradling her limp body, then Langly must be at the wheel – took a corner a bit too fast and Frohike's grip tightened on her arm, keeping her securely on the seat. "Slow down!" Frohike snapped. "A minute ago you complained I wasn't going fast enough. Make up your mind." "I'm all right." Frohike didn't hear her. Not surprising; she hardly heard her pitiful attempt at speech herself. Scully tried again, this time moving a hand to clutch his sleeve. "I'm all right, Frohike." He jumped at her touch. "Scully! How are you feeling?" "Better." A small lie. The hand she'd shifted to gain his attention felt as though it weighed a hundred pounds. The dizziness had receded but not left entirely, threatening to return with a vengeance with every shimmy of the van's worn suspension system. Mulder would have seen through the lie. He might not question her or call her on it, but he would know. Oh, God, Mulder. . . . To take her mind off what might be happening in Oregon, she voiced a question. "Where are we going?" "The hospital. You fainted back in the conference room. Mulder said you'd been having dizzy spells." "Frohike, I'm fine. I don't need to go to the hospital." Scully tried to sit up, but he refused to let her move and silenced any further objections with one irritatingly chauvinistic but quaintly chivalrous sentence. "I promised Mulder I'd take care of you." Chastened, she stopped struggling. Of course Mulder would have worked out some secret deal with the Gunmen to safeguard her well-being. Over the years his original slogan of "Trust no one" had been expanded with a quirky addendum – "except three peculiar and intensely loyal computer geeks." Scully had to admit the addition had served them well. That her unorthodox bodyguards chose to carry her unconscious from the Hoover Building and drive her to the hospital themselves rather than phoning building security to summon an ambulance spoke to the level of their commitment. She'd traveled without incident in emergency vehicles as a patient at least four times since the night she'd been abducted to Antarctica, but their memories were as long and vivid as her partner's in that regard. Mulder had most likely instructed them, "Don't let her out of your sight," and Frohike, Byers and Langly were adhering to both the spirit and the letter of his edict. Part of her rebelled at the coddling, the insistence that although she was capable of protecting the public from mundane serial killers, she was still vulnerable to attack by extraterrestrial forces. The rational part. The part that still insisted Mulder's little gray men were =not= out there, could not be out there, despite all she'd seen and experienced. The part of her that had struggled through a male-dominated profession and bristled at the suggestion that she was weak or unfit for the life she'd chosen. It was a side of her personality that she'd started to quash more and more frequently in the last two years in favor of Mulder's brand of "But what if?" pseudo-science. And it was easily overpowered by the certain knowledge that she =wasn't= well and she =did= need to be checked out by medical specialists, because normal, healthy people just didn't faint for no apparent reason. Normal, healthy people didn't have a government-issue microchip implanted in their neck, either. A microchip that might be keeping a life-threatening disease at bay. If there was something wrong with the chip. . . if the cancer was back. . . . "Scully? Hey, Scully, stay with me, here!" The vertigo swept over her again like an ocean wave, wiping out the sound of Frohike's voice in a riptide of white noise. End part 1 of 3 ______________ SAFEKEEPING (2/3) By Jean Robinson Disclaimer, etc. in part 1 Bodily jostling jarred Scully back to semi-consciousness; the floating, weightless sensation was back but this time it could be attributed to Langly, who was carrying her. It was too much of an effort to open her eyes, and she could no more move or sputter a protest than she could run a marathon in her current condition, but she knew who was holding her just the same. The long hair tickling her cheek could belong to only one of the trio. Byers was yelling for help, shouting for attention; she caught the words "federal agent" and "injured." Everything else was blur of motion and light. Too much light. She tried to force her eyes open, to assert some control over herself and the situation, and was defeated by the piercing brightness of the overhead fluorescents. Unfamiliar yet gentle hands pried her from Langly's grasp, laid her unresisting body on a padded surface she recognized – an examination bed in the emergency room. Disembodied voices spoke over her prone form, sentences oscillating in and out in uneven waves as she struggled to remain conscious. They spoke as if they believed her incapable of hearing, not yet realizing that their patient was also a colleague and could therefore follow the gist of the conversation, half-heard or not. What surprised Scully most of all was the distinctive voice responding to the doctor's questions with astonishing accuracy. Frohike. At least two hospital staff members, possibly more, were fussing around her, pulling open her shirt to check her heartbeat and attach a monitor, pricking her finger for a blood sample, inflating a blood pressure cuff around her upper arm, pressing a thermometer into her ear to document her temperature, yelling for someone to find her old charts. Frohike ignored first their suggestions then their insistence that he wait outside while she was examined. Abandoning hospital policy in favor of the path of least resistance, the doctor decided to make good on the Gunman's presence and was throwing questions at him as fast as he could answer. ". . . name?" "Dana Katherine Scully. =Doctor= Dana Katherine Scully." "Dr. Scully? Can you hear me?" That had been directed at her. Scully knew it, had caught the entire sentence, but despite all her efforts she could only manage to open her eyes halfway and utter an affirmative hum to indicate understanding. Both the doctor and Frohike, however, viewed the slight movement as a monumental improvement, even if she was still incapable of speaking up for herself. "How long. . . experiencing. . . ?" "Maybe three, four days." In the next five minutes, Frohike calmly cataloged her entire medical history, the words "nasopharyngeal tumor" flowing off his tongue as if he'd spent days rehearsing them. His flawless pronunciation didn't garner any laudatory exclamations from his audience, however. The doctor, who had just invited Scully to track his finger with her eyes, froze mid-motion at the mention of cancer. "When was this?" "She's been in remission for two and a half years." There was a heavy pause. "Order an MRI," the doctor quietly instructed the nurse, who scribbled something on a clipboard and murmured an acknowledgment. To Scully the command sounded like a death sentence. So much so that she nearly missed his next question. "Is she pregnant?" Frohike stumbled for the first time, revealing two very different things to the two parties listening closely for his answer. "Uh. . . I don't think so." The doctor heard his hesitation and read it as a positive admission. Scully heard it and suddenly wondered how much Frohike, Langly and Byers knew about her reproductive woes. She was aware that they had helped Mulder access records on her behalf; he'd confessed to consulting them during her initial cancer diagnosis and while investigating Emily's background. The full implications of what their involvement might mean hadn't registered at either time. In Pennsylvania she'd been cushioned by the shock of her diagnosis, operating through a fog of defensive denial. Her own survival was secondary to that of Penny Northern; if Penny lived there was the merest breath of hope that she too could beat the disease. After her friend succumbed, Scully cast about frantically to find a new reason to hope, to endure, to carry on the fight against those who had done this to her. And found it standing sentry outside Penny's hospital room, waiting for her to emerge to hold her and reassure her. Less than a year later, the same silent guardian hovered in the hallway in another hospital on the other side of the continent, allowing her the necessary time and space to grieve for a dying child. He drove her back to her brother's house after all the arrangements had been made, and stood with her after the funeral feeding her small details in a valiant attempt to provide her with a sense of closure. How much or how little Mulder had ever told the Gunmen about their role in these most intimate details of her life had never crossed her mind. Or how much more he might have revealed to them that he still kept hidden from her. But apparently he'd respected her privacy enough to keep mum about this. They'd seen pieces of the puzzle, but not the entire picture spelling out "infertility" in large neon letters. Of course, Frohike, Byers and Langly were not only far from stupid, they were extraordinarily gifted at making bizarre leaps of logic from minute scraps of information, much the same way Mulder was. They =could= have inferred a great deal concerning her condition from their repeated intrusions into her medical files, dating back to the day Frohike smuggled her chart out of Northeast Georgetown Medical Center after her abduction. Clearly, they hadn't. And Mulder, for all his male posturing, hadn't gone about bragging about his sexual conquest to his best friends. The Gunmen might suspect, but they didn't know for sure if their favorite rogue agent had finally shared the sheets with her. The vertigo was winning out; even with her eyes partially open it seemed as though the room was spinning lazily, just enough to keep her disoriented and vaguely nauseated. The chills which had driven her to seek comfort in Mulder's room not so many nights ago in Oregon returned, causing the doctor to lean over her with renewed concern. "Dr. Scully? Can you hear me?" She tried nodding ever so slightly, her vision trembling and blurring at the edges. "We're going to send you for an MRI and give you some IV fluids. It may be an inner ear infection, or it may be something else." He didn't elaborate on what that "something else" might be, but that her symptoms might point to a dire, possibly fatal prognosis wasn't a new thought for her. "Your blood pressure is low, and we'll do some bloodwork to check for anemia and such. And a pregnancy test. Just to be sure. All right?" She nodded again, swallowing hard. More tests. More tests, more tests, more tests, would there ever be a time when she wouldn't be on the receiving end of a needle, a probe, a scope? "I'm going to admit you for observation even if everything comes out normal, just to be safe. Your friend says you've been having these symptoms for a while, and I want to know you're not going to pass out in the parking lot on your way home." Scully smiled slightly at the mental image. "Now would you please tell your friend that he's going to have to wait for you in the lounge with everyone else?" "Scully. . . ." Frohike stepped into her line of sight, reaching for her hand. In the past he would never have taken such liberties. Touching her was a privilege reserved for Mulder alone; all three of them respected that and knew better than to attempt physical contact. She allowed it, curling her fingers around his in a weak parody of her usual confident grip. Recent events had turned everything in her ordered world upside down, inside out and backwards; in a day that had seen her cooperate with Alex Krycek and Marita Covarrubias as if they were long-time allies rather than the most hostile of enemies, send Mulder off to finish a case with no backup but an ex-Marine whose loyalties had been compromised more than once, and ended in a curtained cubicle of a hospital emergency room where this man had received visual confirmation of all his secret fantasies concerning her lingerie, she saw no reason to balk at holding his hand. "Frohike." God, her voice sounded so feeble. What the hell was wrong with her? He squeezed her hand lightly. "Scully, I can't leave you." "It's all right," she managed softly, forcing herself to enunciate, to recover some of that masterful tone that had so cowed Frohike and his friends when she'd discovered the deception that had lured her to Las Vegas at their behest last year. "I'll be fine. Go. . . go wait with the others. Please." "Dana. . . ." his voice, still registering refusal, trailed off. Scully shook her head, squinting through her lashes to minimize the spinning sensation that the motion produced. "No. I'm. . . I'm not in any danger here. It's Mulder. Go. . . go find out what's happening in Oregon." He continued to hesitate, indecision and concern warring for supremacy on his face. "Please. I need to know. . . to know that he's all right." The desperate entreaty for reassurance of Mulder's well- being won him over more than any bluff affirmations about her own health could, she knew. It was unfair to frighten Frohike into believing that unless she knew for certain that Mulder was indeed alive she would fret and stew until her minor symptoms escalated into major ones, but there seemed to be no other way to convince him to leave and let the hospital get on with the business of poking and prodding her. And it wasn't entirely a feminine ploy. Mulder was at risk; they'd already figured that out. She =was= worried, and it would affect her even if the tests showed nothing more serious than low blood sugar due to three days of meals eaten on the run. As expected, he acquiesced in the face of her plea. Over the years she'd come to realize that Frohike, more than any of the others, did indeed carry a torch for her, a carefully guarded and nurtured flame that he hid under a camouflage of running sexual banter. Frohike, who, according to Mulder, had donned a suit and a bow tie to pay his respects at her bedside after her abduction, complete with flowers that the ICU nurse had borne away immediately. And who'd looked positively shattered by her condition, scanning her chart to divert both Mulder and himself from his distress. Frohike, who'd turned up drunk and maudlin at her door that time Mulder had gone missing in New Mexico, accepting her coffee and her comfort. It was only after he left that she realized she'd needed him more than he'd needed her, and that the contents of the bottle he'd been clutching when she answered his knock had most likely been emptied down the sewer rather than down his throat as he'd implied. Frohike, who sided with her when Mulder refused to believe the evidence implicating Diana Fowley in the Consortium's grand scheme. Frohike, who rescued her from her own inhibitions, once they'd been loosed by a newly developed chemical weapon. The details of the incident were fragmented and hazy in her own memory, but she understood enough to know that she'd been within inches of jeopardizing her professional career and her personal safety when he dragged her out of the hotel bar. Frohike, who would do anything at all to make her happy or comfortable, including disobeying Mulder's orders. Determined as she was to send the Gunman away, Scully was equally unprepared for the wild, irrational impulse to call him back and beg him to remain at her side that swept over her as the nurses prepared to transport her to radiology. She crushed the idea instantly, ashamed of herself. Using Frohike as a substitute for Mulder would be the height of cruelty. She would get through this alone. She always did. End part 2 of 3 ___________________ SAFEKEEPING (3/3) By Jean Robinson Disclaimer, etc. in part 1 For once she couldn't fault the hospital; where she had expected to wait hours for access to machinery, technicians, interns and nurses to complete all the procedures the emergency room doctor had ordered, she was instead whisked to the head of the line each time, aware of the envious and occasionally venomous stares from other patients in the queue. Scully concluded her preferential treatment had come thanks to the Gunmen, who had obviously decided that if she was to be out of their sight until the tests were completed, then said tests should take the minimum amount of time possible. She suspected they accomplished this feat of efficiency with a two-pronged attack: making an all-around behavioral nuisance of themselves and liberally threatening ominous government reprisals on behalf of her status as a federal agent, up to and including potential IRS audits. Now, securely checked into a private room, Scully found she hardly cared what illegal or immoral acts they'd performed to speed her through the process. It was over. She still had to endure a worrisome wait until all the test results were compiled to formulate a diagnosis, but at least no one would be invading her body or her personal space for another few hours. She was finally alone with her thoughts. Not that they were comforting, peaceful ones. But at least no one was trying to pry them out of her. Mulder, where are you? What's happening? The implant. It'll show up on the MRI; they'll want to know what it is and how do I explain it? And what if the cancer's back? What then? Mulder, why did I let you go back to Oregon without me? What was I thinking? A soft knock interrupted her reverie; she knew who it would be before they announced themselves. The medical staff would have just barged in, bearing fake smiles and bluster to cover the fact that to them patients were nothing more than objects to be tended, not individuals with rights to common courtesies such as asking permission before entering. "Agent Scully? It's us." Byers. Only it didn't sound like Byers, not his usual quiet, respectful tone that always reminded her of librarians. Scully told herself that it was just the way the door muffled the sound, that there was no reason to be alarmed and think that he was hiding something, bearing terrible news. That it was silly for her stomach to be cramping and her hands to clutch the sheets, involuntarily bracing her to receive a shock. "Come in." The instant she saw them, she knew. The instant they saw her, they knew she knew. "What. . . ." her voice cracked and failed; she cleared her throat and tried again, managing to spit out the words this time although her mouth and throat felt sandy and dry. "What happened?" "Agent Scully, we don't have all the details yet. . . ." Byers' voice faded as she turned determined blue eyes toward him. "What happened to him? Just. . . just tell me." There was a heavily charged pause, while they all exchanged uncomfortable, knowing glances with each other. Frohike stepped forward, assuming the role of unofficial spokesperson. He drew himself up to his full height and looked at her without flinching. "Mulder's gone," he said simply. The statement struck with the punishing force of a hurricane despite all her mental preparation. Her vision went briefly to black, due not to the vertigo that had landed her here in the first place but from a more sweeping, widespread sensation of unreality. As much as she'd been anticipating it, she hadn't truly been expecting the unthinkable. Scully recovered before the Gunmen could react, blinking back the darkness and focusing on the three miserable faces at her bedside. "Gone," she echoed dully, as if perhaps she hadn't heard them correctly the first time and she could elicit the response she desperately wanted to hear by making them repeat themselves. No such luck. "Skinner's on his way back," Frohike continued gently, his hand coming to rest on top of hers on the blankets. "He sounded dazed but certain when we talked to him. There was a ship. It took Mulder. He didn't want to say anything else on an open line." A ship. She didn't ask what kind; Oregon might be a coastal state but she and Mulder had never referred to "ships" in the conventional nautical sense. An alien spacecraft. Mulder was on an alien spacecraft. Mulder was gone. Frohike took her hand in both of his, his eyes wide and deadly serious behind his glasses. "We'll find him, Scully. I swear we'll find him." Echoed murmurs of agreement from Byers and Langly competed with the white noise filling her head, turning his first words into a ghoulish, singsong chant: Mulder's gone, Mulder's gone, Mulder's gone, Mulder's gone. . . . She shoved back the despair, the fear, the overpowering desolation, with the same force of will that had seen her through a terminal illness. Placing her other hand atop Frohike's, making it a pile of four, she nodded and gave them a brave ghost of smile. Later, alone, she might cry and weep and wail. Maybe. Not now. Not here. "I know. We will." "We're going to pick up Skinner at the airport," Byers said. "Do you want one of us to stay here?" She shook her head. "No. Go get him. Find out what happened. See what you can do to start getting Mulder back." They all came forward then, to touch and hold her hands, offering their strength, their convictions, their support. She smiled at them, returned their firm clasps with one of equal resolution. Frohike lingered at the door after the other two had exited, his expression concerned and protective. "Scully? We'll do whatever we have to. Whatever it takes. I promise." She nodded, feeling a lone tear escape to slide, hot and sticky, down her cheek. "I know you will. Thank you." He ducked his head and retreated, leaving her alone once more. For five minutes. Barely enough time to compose herself, wipe the offending tear away with a tissue and banish the source of any others that thought to follow, to tamp down her frayed emotions and start methodically planning how to rescue Mulder. To retreat to her science, which, although she realized it might fail her now more spectacularly than it had ever failed her in all her years on the X-Files, was all she had to draw on at the moment to stave off the crippling devastation waiting in the wings to swamp her and render her completely useless. Her door banged open and the latest doctor in charge of her case arrived, carrying charts and films and notes and grinning from ear to ear. Smiling. Not a manufactured grimace that signaled unpleasant news, but an honest, yet slightly smug smile that spoke of both happy tidings and a faint touch of superiority common to doctors who believed their education gave them almost godlike powers over life and death. "Dr. Scully, I have your test results here. Your bloodwork looks fine, although you're just slightly anemic. Nothing to worry about, though. But the MRI is clear. You're still in remission." His smile widened in anticipation of exclamations of relief, perhaps tears of happiness. Scully met him halfway, permitting herself to relax ever so slightly. Her mind was still full of Mulder; it was difficult to pay attention to her own ailments. She wasn't dying. Mulder was still missing. Nothing the doctor could tell her would change that. "Do you know what's causing the symptoms?" If his grin got any broader, she feared his face would split. Something about her condition tickled his funnybone, although she couldn't imagine anything even vaguely amusing about her plight and his jovial bedside manner was beginning to irritate her. "Oh, I've got a pretty good idea. I'm going to run a few more tests, just to rule out anything unusual, but I can say right now that I'm pretty certain of what we're dealing with here." He rocked back on his heels, hugging her charts to his chest and beaming down at her with twinkling eyes. Suddenly furious at this vapid display of benevolence, Scully glared at him with icy disapproval that threatened review boards and misconduct hearings and demanded, "Well, what is it?" "You're pregnant." End Author's notes: With all the amazing cross-giving and post-ep fics out there, I decided to go the route less traveled and focus on how Scully ended up in the hospital. My thanks to sister sandy of OBSSE, who gave me some medical advice for my emergency room, and to Jill Selby, who makes time to beta me even when she's got more marshmallow sticks in the fire than a whole troop of Girl Scouts. Feedback adored at jeanrobinson@yahoo.com