Value & Honor by Forte (Forte1354@aol.com) Please see Chapter 1 for rating, summary, disclaimer, etc. ******************************************************************** - Chapter 6 - ******************************************************************** 2630 Hegal Place Apartment 42 Friday, 8:05 p.m. After Kurt Crawford's departure, Scully remained on the couch, eyes downcast, forearms on her thighs, hands clasped together. Mulder sat with her for the first minute, waiting to see if she would speak. When she didn't, he decided to let her process their meeting with Crawford without him hovering. He rose, then started gathering his scattered belongings from the floor -- mail, dry cleaning, dinner. he thought wryly, placing the dented take-out container in his refrigerator. When he returned to the living room, he saw that Scully hadn't stirred. Mulder sought and found the pieces of his cell phone. Except for a few splinters of plastic, the body of the phone was intact. The battery pack, which had separated from the phone's body, snapped back into place without trouble. He was pleased when he thumbed the phone on and heard a dial tone. "Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'," he quipped. He glanced back over at his partner, hoping for a reaction to his lame joke. Scully was now reclined against the back of the couch, eyes closed and head tilted back as though she were taking a nap. But the strained look on her face told him that she was quite awake. Without taking his eyes from her, he turned the phone off again and placed it on the edge of the desk. Then he walked to the kitchen, checking that the entry door was locked, and filled a large glass with cold water. He returned to the living room with the glass, sat beside her, and took a long sip. Still she didn't move. "Water?" he asked, voice low. He extended his arm to hold the glass in front of her. Scully sighed and blinked her eyes open. She stared at the ceiling for a long moment before sitting up straight and taking the water from him. She took three short sips and then handed it back to him. "Thanks." Mulder nodded, took another sip, and set the glass on the coffee table. He wondered what he should say next, how he should address the bombshell that Kurt Crawford had dropped on them. His partner surprised him by speaking first. "What do you think about what Kurt told us?" she asked, matching his low tone. "Do you think we can trust him?" "Scully, you're the only one I trust." She rewarded him with a tiny smile. Mulder returned it briefly, then chewed on his bottom lip before continuing. "But I don't distrust him either. If he'd wanted to harm us, he had the opportunity. If he'd wanted to force us to go somewhere, he could have done that, too." "I know," she agreed. "If he's telling the truth, then... " She paused. "Then we'll want to pursue it. So we wait to hear from him, and then proceed with caution?" "Of course," Mulder smiled. "You know that 'caution' is my middle name, Scully." Scully exhaled a laugh, smiling and tucking her chin. Then she squeezed her eyes shut, sucked in a slow breath, and raised her hand to rub her forehead. "You okay?" Mulder asked, squinting with concern. Scully opened her eyes and nodded. "I'm just tired." "It's been a long week," Mulder acknowledged. Scully made a sound that was like a polite snort. "Mulder, this day alone has lasted longer than most weeks." Scully took a deep breath, leaned over to rest her forearms on her thighs again, and hung her head. "I'm just tired," she repeated. "Tired of going God knows where, chasing after God knows who, to find out God knows what." "I know, Scully," he said, his quiet voice filled with compassion. "I know you're tired." She rubbed her forehead again; took another slow, deep breath. Then, as though she'd made a decision, she sat up straight again. "I just need a good night's sleep, Mulder," she stated. "That's all I need. Then I'll be ready to go God knows where again." Mulder stared at her for a second, in awe of her strength. Then he reached up and rubbed her back a few times as he had earlier, and broke into a wide grin. "Scully, you're amazing." As if in response to his touch, her stomach growled loudly. He chuckled. "Sounds like you're hungry too." "I guess so," Scully admitted. "I haven't eaten since lunch." "Me neither. Want to split my pad Thai? There's plenty." "Twist my arm." Still grinning, Mulder went to the kitchen to heat up the take-out food. As he worked, his mind drifted, replaying recent events, and his smile waned. They'd had a miserable week in Rhode Island with the Jack Morse case, but that was nothing compared to the hellish day that Scully had had. Ridicule and insults from Diana. Autopsy reports on children from Kersh. A painful lunch conversation. More autopsy reports. And now Kurt Crawford's news. It was a damn miracle she wasn't curled up in a ball in the corner, sobbing. But then, this was Scully. Mulder looked out at his partner sitting on the couch. She was fingering the glass of water, lost in thought. He had to admire her seemingly indomitable spirit. She gave, and gave, and gave, and when any mere mortal would have given up she gave some more. And all she wanted was a good night's sleep? He carried the reheated food to the living room and sat down next to her, holding out one of the plates. "Scully -- " he started. She gazed at him as she took the dish. "Yes?" Faced with her perfect blue eyes, he lost his nerve. Instead, he gestured to her plate. "I gave you all the tofu. I know you like it." She looked down at the plate's contents, then back up at her partner. "Thank you, Mulder," she said quietly. "No problem," Mulder replied. "I told you there was plenty." She shook her head and gave him another small smile. "I wasn't talking about the food." He smiled back at her, and they ate in content, companionable silence. ******************************************************************** *RIIIIIIING* The sound of his phone startled Mulder from his sleep. "Wha -- " he sputtered, sitting bolt upright. He realized that he'd fallen asleep sitting on the couch, feet up on the coffee table. As he sat up, his hand brushed against Scully's. She blinked at him in confusion, telling him that the ringing phone had woken her also. She sat about a foot away from him, and by the warmth he felt along the edge of his hand he must have been touching hers in his sleep. he mused. He pulled his feet off the coffee table and reached for the cordless handset on the coffee table. *RIIIIIIING* "Yeah, yeah," Mulder muttered, flicking on the phone with this thumb. "Hello." He turned his head to look at the clock. 9:45 p.m. "Mulder!" "Yeah, Frohike. What's up?" Out of the corner of his eye he saw Scully arch an eyebrow. She gestured for him to let her listen. Mulder moved closer to her and tilted the cordless so she could hear. "You tell me," Frohike replied. "What happened to you and your phone earlier? The luscious Agent Scully was worried about you." "My phone," he said, glancing over at the corded phone on his desk, "was tied up by a distraction." "Distraction?" the Gunman asked. "I didn't... interrupt anything, did I, Mulder?" "No, Frohike, you didn't interrupt anything," Scully spoke up. "What's going on?" "Agent Scully," Frohike blurted. "You're there." Mulder thought. "=Yes=, I am here," she replied, exasperated. "I was talking to you just before I arrived, remember?" Frohike stuttered a few times before Scully continued. "Did you find out anything about Mulder's phone line?" "Uh, yeah. Your 'distraction' accessed three different sites: the British Medical Journal, the New England Journal of Medicine, and the Journal of the American Medical Association." Mulder and Scully's eyes met. "So Kurt was telling the truth," Mulder muttered. "Frohike," Scully said, "can you access those same sites and download anything containing 'cancer,' 'oncology,' or 'gene therapy'?" "Sure, but it'll take some time. We can start that right away. Is there anything else we can do to help, Agent Scully?" The Gunman sounded more solicitous than Scully had ever heard him before. She'd have to catch him calling her "luscious" more often. Mulder leaned a little closer to her to speak into the phone. "Yeah, search for the name 'Kurt Crawford' in car rental records for the past week -- anywhere in the country. And check whether there's a record of him taking a bus, plane, or train to DC. 'Kurt' is with a 'K' and 'Crawford' with a 'C', but check all the spelling variations, too." He shrugged at his partner and lowered his voice. "I doubt he would have traveled under that name, but...." She nodded her agreement. "Anything else? You want some fries with that, Mulder?" "Very funny. Just send me an e-mail with whatever matches you find. You can come by next week to pick out your token of my gratitude." "Deal," Frohike enthused. "You'll be hearing from us." The line disconnected. "Well, that's a start," Mulder said, thumbing off the phone. He stood, stretching, and moved away from the couch. He deposited the phone on top of the TV before moving over to his computer and booting it up. "With luck I'll have an e-mail from them within a few hours." He felt his partner's eyes following him as he opened the e-mail application and returned to the couch to sit next to her. "So you were worried about me, Scully?" he teased. "Yes, and clearly with good reason." Scully sighed. "You certainly do attract the most interesting house guests, Mulder." Mulder scrubbed his face with one hand, fatigued. "Yeah, I was Mr. Popularity tonight. Kurt wasn't the only visitor I had." Scully sat up straighter and looked at him with curiosity. "Why? Who else visited you?" Mulder cleared his throat and looked at his feet. He hadn't wanted to stumble into the conversation like this. "Mulder?" Deep breath. "Diana." One Scully eyebrow went up, and her jaw tightened. "Oh?" "Yeah, she was waiting for me outside the building when I got home. I talked to her just before you called me." He looked up to meet her eyes. He didn't know why, but he felt compelled to add, "She didn't come in. We talked outside." Scully nodded. "What did she want?" Mulder shrugged, his forced nonchalance unsuccessful in hiding his nervousness. "She wanted to apologize for this morning. She... was angry that a 'non-believer' had been assigned to the X-Files, but she let her anger get out of hand. She wanted me to pass along her apology, too. But I told her I couldn't do that for her." "Isn't that what you're doing now?" "No, all I'm doing now is telling you what happened, as your partner. And as your friend. I thought you would want to know the truth. Was I wrong?" "No," Scully admitted. "No, you're not wrong." She paused, brow furrowed. "Did she say how she found out... ?" Mulder hung his head, studying his shoes, deciding how to tell her the truth. he told himself. He lifted his head to meet her gaze. "She thought that you were assigned to the X-Files to destroy the work." "Wasn't I?" "Well, yes, but...." How the hell was he supposed to tell her this? He glanced down at the floor and cleared his throat for a second time before meeting her eyes again. "Anyway, she did some investigating, trying to dig up some damning evidence about you. And in the process... she found out about your petition to adopt Emily, and read the summary of the hearing, which included..." He trailed off and waited for her to absorb the information. She paled. "Oh, my God..." Mulder watched as her face flashed through shock, then resignation, and then a calm that he knew she didn't really feel. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. It was bound to happen sooner or later." She maintained the stoic mask, but Mulder could hear the sadness and sense of violation in her voice. After several moments of silence, she asked, "What else?" Trying to lighten the mood, Mulder added, "I also told her if she fucked with you again she'd find her ass in a sling." He grinned sheepishly. "You don't need to protect me, Mulder." Mulder held up his hands in mock protest. "I didn't say =who= would put her ass in a sling. I have no doubt that it would be you." He paused, turning serious again. "What she did was inexcusable, but she had an explanation. She was being petty and stupid -- she said so herself -- and I suppose jealous, too. It's not like her, but that's what it was." "Do you believe her?" "I don't have a reason not to. Why do you ask?" Now Scully studied the floor. "Mulder, I have learned from you to question what everyone says. And to question their motives." She looked at him again and shrugged. "Did she have anything else to say?" Mulder snorted with derision. "She said that she forgets that she doesn't have to watch my back any more." Scully's eyebrow arched again. "And you said... ?" "Just the truth, Scully. That she's not my partner. =You= are, and I plan on keeping it that way for a long time." Mulder paused, watching for any negative reaction. None. In fact, she looked interested, even encouraging. So far, so good. Well, this day had been so miserable for her that she deserved to hear a truth that was CONstructive rather than DEstructive. "What I =didn't= tell her, Scully.... is that you're the best damned partner I've ever had, or could ever hope to have. You're the only one I want watching my back." He paused. Although Scully looked pleased, she said nothing, as though waiting for more. So he continued. "Diana... she offered to get me back on the X-Files, with her. I told her no. It's no contest, Scully. I'd rather work with you on fertilizer duty than be on the X-Files without you." Scully looked stunned. Pleasantly so, but stunned nonetheless. "Come on, Scully, you can't tell me that you didn't know that already." He grasped her arm and squeezed gently. "Just a variation on a theme you've heard before." With his eyes, he gestured towards the door to the hallway. Scully smiled with understanding, looked down for a moment, then raised her head to look into his eyes. But even through the smile Mulder saw the pain left in the wake of the evening's events. Mulder smiled back. "You know, Scully, if this were a movie, this would be about the time that the beautiful heroine throws herself into the arms of the handsome hero." If he hadn't known better, Mulder would have thought that her eyes shimmered with mischief. "Mulder, I know what kind of movies you watch, and we're overdressed for that kind of scene." "You coming on to me, Scully?" "In your dreams, Mulder." Scully pushed herself off the couch until she was standing facing him. She continued to hold her enigmatic smile. "I never got you that ice for your head. Better late than never." She turned and walked towards the kitchen with a purposeful stride. Mulder thought ruefully. ******************************************************************** Scully returned a few minutes later with a plastic bag of ice wrapped in a towel. Handing it to him, she remarked, "Hold this on the back of your head for ten minutes. If it's still bothering you later, apply it for another ten minutes." Mulder nodded, taking the pack. "I think I'm going to head for home before I fall asleep again." "You don't have to go if you're that tired, Scully," he protested. "You can stay here for the night." His partner shook her head. "I want to get up early to finish working on those autopsy reports from Kersh. I'd like to have that out of the way before we go running off on some field trip with Kurt Crawford." Mulder nodded his acknowledgment as he rose from the couch, leaving the ice pack on the coffee table. "All right, Scully. I'll see you tomorrow." He followed her to the door to let her out, placing his hand lightly on the small of her back as she passed him. "Call me if you need anything." "I will," she responded. He watched her until she disappeared into the elevator, then closed and re-locked his door. Yawning, Mulder crossed to his computer, then sat down and put on the wire-rimmed glasses that had been resting by the keyboard. No messages yet. He removed the glasses, leaving them on the desk again, and moved back to the couch. He lay down with the ice pack at the back of his head, flicked the TV on with the remote, and fell asleep to the sounds of The Discovery Channel. ******************************************************************** *RIIIIIIING* The sound of his cordless phone startled Mulder from his sleep. he thought, groggy. He half-fell to his knees off the edge of the couch and reached to the end of the coffee table for the handset. Thumbing on the phone, he tried to mutter "Yeah." What came out of his sleepy mouth was indecipherable. "Mulder?" "Scully?" The serious tone of her voice woke him up faster than anything else could have. He turned his head to look at the clock. 5:36 a.m. Scully would never call at this hour unless... "Are you all right? What's wrong?" "Everything is wrong, Mulder. Everything about this is wrong. I've been awake all night thinking about what Kurt Crawford said. Whatever he has in mind, I don't want to pursue it. I'm not going wherever it is he wants to take us." Mulder's free hand gripped the coffee table in disbelief. "Scully... if what Crawford said is correct, you'll be able to get rid of that chip in your neck. Don't you want that?" "Mulder, we've had carrots dangled in front of us before. We wind up going around and around and we never get anywhere." She sucked in a deep breath, as though rushing to get the words out before losing her nerve. "I'm sick of being used, I'm sick of not knowing where the =hell= I'm going to wake up tomorrow, I'm sick of not knowing what they're going to take from me next. I just want them to leave me alone. I want all of them to leave me alone." Mulder blinked at his partner's unusual outburst. His limbs felt heavy and numb. "Scully... I don't know what to say." Ignoring his comment, Scully continued. "And no, Mulder, before you even ask, I'm not leaving the X-Files and I'm not leaving you. But I'm tired, Mulder. I'm tired and I want to go home." "Home?" he mumbled. "Yes, Mulder, home. You know, that place Dorothy wanted to go in The Wizard of Oz? I've had enough, Mulder. I give up on this one. They win." Mulder felt a chill run down his spine at her final words. "Scully -- you can't mean that. Do you realize what you're saying? You're giving up on yourself. You can't do that, Scully. I won't let you." "I don't want to argue about it, Mulder. Besides..." "Yeah?" he asked, voice full of fear. "You have mail," she said, imitating the computer voice that announced new e-mail. He blinked. "How --" he started, rolling on his knees to turn to look towards his PC. And then suddenly he was falling to the floor, face down, and landed with a grunt. Blinking, he pushed himself up into a kneeling position and took a deep breath. His eyes darted in search of the phone. "Scully?" he called, hoping she would hear him through the receiver, wherever it had fallen. And then he spotted it. Across the room, on top of the television. Right where he'd left it after speaking with Frohike. "Oh, shit," he muttered, sinking to a seated position on the floor. He leaned against the couch and ran his hand through his hair. He sat for a moment, trying to control his breathing and heart rate, telling himself over and over that it was just a dream, it wasn't really Scully, Scully wasn't giving up, it was just a dream... At least the dream Scully had said she wasn't leaving him. His subconscious wasn't =that= self-recriminating. Finally calmed, he looked up at the clock. His sense of time hadn't been off by much in his dream -- it was 5:48 a.m. Then he turned his gaze toward his PC. Sure enough, the new mail icon was flashing. He groaned as he climbed to his feet, then tottered over to the desk, sat down, and slipped on his glasses. Grabbing the mouse, he clicked on "read". One new message, from the Gunmen. Subject: "Kansas City". Mulder mused. He opened the message. "No matches anywhere under any spelling variation we could think of. Sorry." Mulder sat back in his chair, closed his eyes, and sighed. "You have mail." Mulder blinked and leaned towards the PC's monitor. Was he dreaming again? No, the new mail icon was flashing anew, and the Gunmen's message was still on the screen. He closed it to check the status of his mailbox. One new message. No subject line. From an address he didn't recognize. He opened the message, sat back in the chair, open-mouthed, and then reached for his cell phone to call Scully. ******************************************************************** - end Chapter 6 - ******************************************************************** Feedback is cherished at Forte1354@aol.com or bjm1352@aol.com.